I decided that I loved writing my “No Holes Barred” Post Labour Questions so much that I wanted to reach out to my fellow mummy blogger and read some of there responses.
With that I have launched my Guest Series Of No Holes Barred and first up on the blog to share there Experiences is Catherine from Passports and Adventures. Catherine writes about family lifestyle and travel and also has a little boy too his Nickname is Battle Kid and I love that.
Here’s Catherine’s answered below, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did. Don’t forget to check out Catherine’s blog and social links- Go say hello and tell her I sent you!
Did your partner look down the business end while you gave birth? If he did do you remember his facial impression of what he saw?
He certainly wasn’t down that end when I actually gave birth to our son as we were rushed into theatre on the assumption I was having a C-section. The doctor asked to try to deliver our son naturally using forceps and had to give me an episiotomy to aid that procedure. So, my husband was nowhere near the business end for that. I don’t remember any facial expressions as I was high on gas and air (what a wonderful thing that is), but he did tell me afterwards that he was very worried about us both, particularly our son as the midwife had lost his heartbeat twice on the monitor he had out on his head (while still inside me).
Did you poop during labour?
Yes. Despite being out of it on gas and air, I definitely remember pooping during second stage labour. I think my husband was a bit surprised but not the professionals. They’ve seen it all before I guess.
After giving birth did your sex drive improve or decrease?
My sex drive took a nose dive. Having had an episiotomy that needed a repair 13 days after giving birth, my first time to have a general anaesthetic, it took me 16 weeks in total to stop bleeding and to feel like things were ‘getting back to normal’, whatever that is after you have a child. It took a long time, and a few glasses of wine to even attempt that first time.
Where you tempted to look at your bits in the mirror post labour to see what it looked like?
I did look in a mirror in the few days after birth to check the stitches from my episiotomy. That’s when I, and then my husband, realised things didn’t look like they should have. My husband took me to see a private doctor to be examined, as my community midwives kept saying “it’ll heal with time” and he didn’t like the sound of that. The consultant I saw in a local Bupa hospital took one look at it and asked “who is looking after you? That will never heal on its own” and two days later I was having surgery to repair the episiotomy under him via the NHS. Not the best experience to have with your first child.
Did you wait the recommended 6 weeks before part taking in sexual intercourse post birth?
It was a lot longer than that due to the length of time it took for me to feel somewhat normal with my episiotomy.
Do you find you take Less care of your self since becoming a parent?
Yes. Your entire focus shifts to looking after a baby and, especially in the first 6 months, I didn’t take very good care of myself. My weight dropped quite a bit due to breastfeeding and exhaustion looking after a newborn. I didn’t get my hair cut until my son was 6 months old and I was still wearing my pre-pregnancy clothes, despite me being almost two sizes smaller. Once things finally started to settle down and I felt somewhat back to normal, I got my hair cut, bought new clothes and started eating better once we hit the weaning stage as I was cooking for a baby as well.
Even now, with my son coming up for 4, I still focus on him rather than myself. It’s rare I get time to myself and I am regularly buying clothes and things for him before myself. I guess that’s what happens when you have children.
Is your child a cock block? AKA do they interrupt your sex life?
Yes, mainly due to the fact that my husband and I are too tired at the end of the day to be bothered. All we want to do once our son is in bed is flake on the couch and watch a programme or two before falling into bed at 10pm. We haven’t had a night away together since he was born as we have no babysitters and no family to look after him for us. We also haven’t had a dinner date without him along for the ride. We wouldn’t change it for the world but it does mean our sex life is not what it used to be.
Did your first child make you think carefully about when the right time to have a second child is?
We haven’t had a second child, mainly due to my experience during, and after, the birth of our son. I didn’t want to take the chance I’d have the same or a similar experience and so it has meant we haven’t had a second child. Now, as time marches on and mental wounds start to heal, I am even more reluctant to consider another child due to my age, the risk factors and the fact I couldn’t face going back to those newborn days. I think if I had had a more positive experience first time around, I’d have had another child by now.
Do you finish your children’s food if they leave it and it looks quiet tasty?
Occasionally I do. However, it is not often my son leaves food on his plate. He is quite a good eater and so I’d be lucky to find something tasty left on his plate to munch on.
Have your breasts changed post birth?
Yes they have. I breastfed my son for almost eight months and that has definitely contributed to their change. Also, they are naturally smaller due to the weight loss I experienced too. They are certainly not as pert as they were beforehand.
Do you wee your self post birth?
No, that is one thing I am thankful for. Once I knew my wounds were healing, I started doing my pelvic floor exercises and continue to do them (when I remember them). I really do think they have helped in that department.
Have you ever dropped your baby accidentally?
Not dropped him, but he did once fall off our bed when he was about 9 months old. I put him in the centre of the bed, a super-king bed, and he managed to roll over and off the bed in a matter of seconds as I was getting changed. He was absolutely fine but the mum guilt was horrendous. From that day on I put him on the floor!
How often do you pretend to be on the toilet longer then you need to be for 5 minutes peace?
Everyday! It is the only 5 minute peace I can get as a mum to a pre-schooler. And even then I often have him at the door knocking or calling for something or other.
What is the first thing you choose to do if you get the rare opportunity to be child free and you don’t have to go to work that day?
Truth be told, probably blog work. It is impossible to get anything done with him around and I am so grateful for kindergarten. But if I am up-to-date with the blog, then I can be found enjoying a hot cup of tea and slice of cake in a café before hitting the shops. I go with the intention of treating myself but invariably come back with things for my son!
Whats you honest feelings on parenting?
Parenting is by far the hardest job in the world. It is also the most rewarding. And I’ve also learned that the wise words a neighbour gave us a few years back are completely true. You will always love your child, but you won’t necessarily like them all the time.
We love our son dearly and would give our lives for him, but there are times when he really tests our patience. He is a confident little dude but with it comes a stubbornness and defiant streak that, when it surfaces, can really test our limits. That said, when he throws his arms around us and says “I love you so much”, and means it, you know it’s worth it and you’re doing something right.
I also completely admire single parents who are raising their children single-handedly. I really don’t know how they do it without a partner to help out. Even with my husband now around every evening (he used to work away during the week), it’s damn hard and I take my hat off to all the single mums and dads of this world.
Last but not least insert a picture of you with your favourite snap chat filter.
Catherine thank you so much for sharing your answers with us and for being so honest and open. I have loved reading this with a hot cuppa while Parker has been sleeping.
I will be uploading 2-3 of these per week from Various Bloggers so stay tuned for that.